You Can’t Coach Without Credibility

I was labeled a "problem child" the majority of my life. The kind of kid who asked, “Why should I listen to you?”

And if the answer was status, title, or tone... not a fucking chance.

I had no tolerance for authority that wasn’t earned.

I questioned everything, challenged everyone, and made it painfully obvious when I didn’t respect the person in charge.

The kind of personality that would’ve been flagged for “performance issues” if I were on payroll.

The irony? I wasn’t like that with everyone.

The people who lived what they preached—who showed up with discipline, consistency, and purpose—got the best version of me.

There’s one memory that still sits in my chest.

Every year, my parents sent me to a week-long basketball camp. I showed up in full rebellion mode—eyeliner sharp as a blade, skull t-shirt, Bob Marley bag slung over my shoulder.

One of the female coaches gathered the group in a circle on the last night of camp. And out of nowhere, she turned to me and said:

“I owe you an apology. I judged you the second you walked in. Thought you were going to be a nightmare.”

I was shocked, I hadn’t even noticed she’d written me off.

Because to me, she was the real deal—fit, focused, sharp, and calm. She embodied the game.

So I respected her.

I showed up on time, helped clean the gym every night, and gave 100% in every drill.

She expected attitude. What she got was effort.

Not because I was trying to prove anything…

But because I could feel she lived what she taught.

That moment made me realize something I didn’t have language for at the time:

You can’t make people change. You can only move in a way that makes them want to.

People watch how you lead.

They study how you show up when no one’s clapping.

They notice whether you live what you preach—or just talk about it.

And without ever saying a word… your standard becomes the invitation. 

So if you’re wondering why your feedback isn’t landing...

Why your team nods but doesn’t change...

Why some people ignore your direction until someone else says the same thing...

Start here:

Who are you when no one’s watching?

Because your presence teaches louder than your words.

It’s not just what you say.

It’s who you are when you say it.

People listen to the ones they respect.

They follow the ones they believe.

And they rise for the ones who’ve done the work themselves.