Stop Making Your Team Pay Twice

One of the worst mistakes you can make as a leader doesn’t happen during the hard conversation.

It happens after.

When you make them pay for it twice.

Nobody enjoys being told their performance is a problem. 

And it doesn’t matter if they saw it coming. Being on the receiving end of direct feedback is uncomfortable. 

You can see it in their face. 

That look. Like a dog that got its tail stepped on.

That’s what clarity feels like sometimes.

If you’re doing your job, the conversation was honest, direct, kind, and clear. You didn’t dance around it. You didn’t blur the message. You stated what needs to change and what happens if it doesn’t.

Which means the other person likely walked away feeling a little raw and slightly embarrassed.

Totally normal. And unavoidable.

The issue is what happens next.

If you suddenly become less available, less open, or more distant afterward, you teach them something dangerous: honesty comes with a cost.

Once for their behavior.

Second for your discomfort.

You don’t get to ask someone to improve and then treat them differently for trying.

You don’t get to hold the standard high for them and let your annoyance lower it for yourself.

This is where people decide whether accountability still comes with respect.

Not in the 15 minutes of confrontation.

In the 15 days that follow.

So, the question you need to answer for yourself is:

After an uncomfortable conversation, how quickly can you return to baseline?

Can you still joke with them in the next meeting?

Can you still support them without making them feel like they’re on probation?

Can you check in on a project without sounding like you’re looking for proof they’ll fail?

Or do they feel your disappointment every time they walk into the room?

You gave them the opportunity to improve.

Now give them the dignity to do it.