Stop Letting Your Inbox Run Your Life

Constantly responding to texts, emails, and random calls doesn’t just drain your time—it wires your body to stay in fight or flight.

You’re not actually available all day. You’re just conditioned to accept interruption.

That kind of stimulation keeps your brain reactive, not reflective.

And when your attention is always splintered, deep focus doesn’t stand a chance.

I learned this lesson the hard way.

Back in the early days of our business, I was getting over 300 notifications a day.

Ping after ping.

“Got a sec?”
“Quick question.”
“Can you review this?”

My nervous system felt like it was being yanked in ten directions with no off switch.

I was in a constant state of micro-response and didn’t even realize how fried I was—until a friend saw me toss my phone into the trunk of my car for a one-hour drive.

She looked confused.

I felt free.

This went on until I eventually started having panic attacks in the middle of the night.

And the thought of checking my messages gave me the mouth sweats.

That was the moment I realized the problem wasn’t just the messages…

It was how available I’d made myself to everyone, without asking who actually deserved that kind of access.

My therapist gave me a metaphor I’ll never forget…

The Mountain.

She explained it like this:

Picture yourself on a mountain.

At the top is where you live—where your peace, focus, and clarity reside.

But not everyone gets to climb all the way up.

Some people belong at base camp.
Others halfway.
A few might never leave the parking lot.

The higher up someone goes, the more access they get to your time, energy, and attention.

And the mistake many of us make—especially those who care deeply—is handing out summit access to people who haven’t earned it.

We respond to every message.
Answer every ask.
Stretch ourselves thin because we can, not because we should.

But when everyone has a direct line to you, your internal mountain starts to collapse.

What I took from that:

“My phone is for me to reach others, not for others to reach me.”

I don’t know if she found that as funny as I did, but regardless—her teaching got through.

That conversation changed my life.

It reminded me that boundaries aren’t just about managing other people—they’re about protecting your nervous system.

So if your focus is fried… your inbox makes you flinch… and your phone feels like a leash…

Use these communication practices to help feel calm and back in control.

4 Communication Practices: 

1.) Get Clear On Your Mountain
Not every relationship deserves summit access.

Decide who belongs at the top, halfway, or in the parking lot.

The higher up someone goes, the more access they get to your time, energy, and attention.

This simple mental model helps you respond with purpose… not guilt.

2. Pre-Decide Your Channels
Not everything gets solved over a text.

Create a personal rulebook:
“I don’t handle X over text, I book a call or send a Loom.”

This eliminates decision fatigue and gives your brain a boundary to follow.

3.) Set Communication Blocks
Responding all day wires your nervous system to be on-call 24/7.

Instead, block 1–2 windows per day (15–20 minutes max) to check messages.

And when you reply, give responses that close the loop.

Ask yourself:
“If this were the only message I could send today, what would they need to move forward?”

4.) Create Hard Cut-Offs
Decide when the phone goes down. When work ends. And when your inbox no longer gets your attention.

Then—honor it.

Because the way you treat your own time teaches everyone else how to treat it, too.

These aren’t just communication tips.

They’re nervous system protocols.

Quiet systems that protect your energy, sharpen your focus, and bring you back to yourself.

Because when you stop being at the mercy of everyone else’s pings, dings, and asks…

You can finally hear your own voice again.

And that voice?

That’s the one that leads.