How To Make Decisions You Don’t Have To Clean Up Later

We don’t usually notice the absence of a boundary until we’re already paying for it.

If you’ve ever said yes too quickly, then spent hours rehearsing what you should have said...

Snapped at someone, then had to walk it back because you weren’t clear on what you actually needed

Or agreed to something small, then found yourself angry, exhausted, and wondering, why am I always the one who overextends?

You know what it’s like to make decisions without one.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the last 24 months, it’s this:

Boundaries are easiest to set when they’re pre-decided—long before they’re tested.

Before you're in a moment of tension or running a post-mortem on why you just nuked someone in a moment of overwhelm.

Which is why I keep a running list in my phone of my YES’s and NO’s.

I implemented this system because I got tired of sitting at the banquet of consequences—frustrated with how I handled something I didn’t take time to think through.

Because It’s one thing to live with a decision you stood behind.

It’s another to look back, realize you were just reacting—and know you’d handle it differently if you’d paused for five minutes and remembered who you are.

Plus, boundaries aren’t just about how you interact with others.

It’s also about what behaviors you are willing to tolerate in yourself.

The YES & NO Running List:

This process was designed to remove the guesswork of how I want to show up in the world and root every decision back to values. Instead of always being at the mercy of my own knee-jerk reactions.

This will help you learn how to get ahead of what’s likely going to happen based on the direction you’re heading in life and the patterns that keep repeating.

So, grab a google doc, note in your phone, or kick it old school with a pen + paper and answer the following

1.) What types of situations am I likely to face soon? (Pattern Awareness)

Think about your growth, your work, your relationships. What moments might test your energy, time, or integrity?

The more specific the better—this helps you future-pace and analyze the moment long before it shows up at your front door.

2.) How would you like to respond in that moment? (Behavior Clarity)

Picture the situation actually happening. Someone makes the ask. The room gets tense. The opportunity lands in your inbox. How do you want to show up in that moment?

Not how you usually react or what feels easiest or most polite. But what would make you feel good about how you handled it—five minutes later, five days later?

• What tone would you use?

• What would you say or not say?

• Would you stay quiet?

• Set a limit?

• Walk away?

Get specific. The clearer your behavior is in advance, the less likely you are to abandon it under pressure.

3.) What would make that moment a YES or a NO for you? (Decision Boundaries)

What conditions need to be present for it to feel right? Are there red flags you usually ignore? Signals you can pay more attention to next time?

Where is the line and what signals usually tell you you’ve crossed it?

This is where your boundaries start to take shape.

4.) Why does showing up that way matter to you? (Values & Principles)

Ask yourself: what are you protecting or honoring with that response? Maybe it’s peace. Maybe it’s integrity, energy, or self-respect.

Now think about the cost of not showing up that way. What happens afterward resentment, recovery time, mental spirals?

What value or principle is at stake here? If someone pushed back on your choice, what belief would you stand on?

And is this tied to a version of you you’re becoming—or one you’re finally trying to outgrow?

The more clearly you can name what matters, the less likely you are to abandon it under pressure.

5.) If you made that call now, while calm, would you still stand by it if others didn't agree? (Conviction Check)

And if not… why?

Is it fear of judgment? Discomfort with disappointing people? Or is the boundary not as clear as you thought?

Doing this doesn't mean the decisions are always easy. It means you can live with them.

You’ll still get tested. You’ll still get caught off guard.

It won’t be perfect and it’s not supposed to be.

But over time, this practice builds a filter that lives in you.

And when it does, you’ll find yourself less reactive, more rooted—and responding from alignment instead of emotion.

Which is the whole point.

If this was helpful, pass it on.

Forward it to your team, your co-founder, or another leader who’s navigating high-stakes moments and wants to do it with more clarity and less reactivity.

It’s the kind of system that helps you live with fewer apologies—and a lot more peace.